Psalm 95; Matt 18:15-20
When discussing forgiveness, we often refer to the expression, ‘forgive and forget.’ We seem to think this wise and noble. The Lord certainly repeatedly forgives both the ancient Israelites and ourselves, but He does not appear to advocate ‘forgetting.’
A major role of the prophets was to remember and remind the people of their past behavior and its consequences. Similarly, the writing structure of a psalm compels the psalm-singer to mention the past; usually including both human wayward ways and the Lord’s mercy, forgiveness and intervention. In Psalm 95, the one before us today, the psalm-singer does not shy away from calling the people stiff-necked or of reminding them of their grumbling. However, the remembrance is not self-pitying or a diatribe on the traps and defects of human nature; rather it tethers the celebration of the Lord’s mercy to reality.
In this gospel reading, Jesus spells out the process of resolving grievances within a community. While several verses within are debated, the passage is clear that we are not expected to turn away, ignore or simply tolerate wrongs against us or the sin and failings of others. The steps the Lord suggest involve, the “humble receptivity to the other, mutual support and active respect, accountability, relentless commitment to reconciliation, and repeated forgiveness” (7).
If Jesus were saying this with Psalm 95 in His heart at this Gospel moment… He may be offering a prescription to avoid the ‘hardening of the heart.’ He does not advocate forgiving and forgetting, but exploring, problem-solving and forgiving. He urges community members to ameliorate the issue by addressing it with the party directly involved, pulling in witnesses if private conversation fails, and finally refer the issue to the community. These are steps that are wise to follow today, as well, if we are to avoid the hardening of the heart. In Buddhism, generosity includes sharing one’s ‘spaciousness of heart.’ Is this not what Jesus is referring to here?
Jesus’ good advice about conflict resolution is hinged on forgiving. If we forget we have needed forgiveness in the past, if we forget the depth of vulnerability of another, if we forget the pain we are capable of inflicting, we may do it again. If we remember only the Almighty can truly reform, transform and heal the heart when we have broken it can we deepen within Him. Clinging to painful bits of the past can seem self-defeating, but if we are in communion with the Lord, they do not have to be denied. We can accept them and allow the words of the psalm to be our prayer, “Harden not my heart.”
Journal Questions:
- What have been my experiences in refer to the sharing of ‘spaciousness of heart?’
- How do I resolve disputes or conflicts at home, work and in other groups? Do I follow the steps Jesus laid out? Where in the resolution process does forgiveness figure in for me on a daily basis?
- What has been my understanding of the phrase ‘forgive and forget?’ When is forgetting a good idea, and when is remembering beneficial?
References– Refer to blog post entitled Resources
© 2017 Marilyn MacArthur, all rights reserved
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