Mom always called these sort of statements the ‘was-gonna’s’ and we were accused of mumbling them all the time. ‘I was-gonna take out the trash,’ ‘I was-gonna study for the Latin exam that I ended up failing.’ ‘I was-gonna do exactly as you asked…’ but action is scarce and failure to follow-through abounds! Every parent knows this song and dance, as does everyone who’s been a boss. On the other hand, who wants to deal with passive aggressive child or staff member who is full of back-talk and vibrato, challenging every word out of your mouth. That sure is tedious too! Yup, in the end they do as you requested, great, but who wants the constant drama?
Jesus may just have invented the game ‘Would You Rather.’
‘Would you rather go skydiving or scuba diving?’ ‘Would you rather eat your favorite meal every day for the rest of your life or never eat it again?’ I’ve played this game many a time with both kids and elders. Regardless of age, someone always refuses to play along. ‘Both choices stink! I would rather do neither!’ But the game prompts discussion and personal revelations in a fun and light manner, so it has value. There are many variations, but the structure of the forced and focused, ‘This or that, a or b,’ remains consistent.
Jesus often poses a this or that— although usually He has some thoughts about the preferred alternative. ‘Is it better to give lip but do as asked, or to be super cooperative and deferential, but do whatever you darn well want to do?’
When I hear this gospel I think, ‘Gee Jesus! Give me some credit. I’ll do whatever you want and be polite about it.’ But Jesus knows us better than this, doesn’t He!? Obviously it is better to do the right thing than to say the right thing, if you are going to be so contrary that you can’t do and say the right thing at the same time.
I love that I get all uppity and superior when I read this gospel passage, because as soon as I start to talk to the Lord about it, He just laughs. I imagine that, but it is funny, because my words and actions often do not match. And what is in my heart is not always what I put out there for others to witness. This is our humanity at work. Why don’t we do and say the right thing at the same time more often? Mary, Mary, why are we so contrary?
Maybe so we could know our own selves better: to understand how we think, how we make decisions, how we respond to two non-preferred options, is not as easy as all that. When given two elements, how often do we pit them against each other, turning every moment into a ‘would you rather’ either or game? How often is ‘All of the Above’ a valid and honest option that doesn’t even register as a possibility?
What if we pop that into our repertoire of optional responses? Might our relationship with others and the Lord shift a bit, might we be at peace more consistently, might we find joy in simple things more frequently? I think the answer to all these questions would be a resounding, clarion trumpet ‘yes’ if what we said and what we did matched a bit more often!
Journal Questions
- Recall a time when you did the right thing but did not say the right thing? Looking back, what might have been different if you did and say the right thing simultaneously?
- Similarly, recount a time when you said the right thing, but did not follow up with promised action? In hindsight, what might have been different if you said and did the right thing simultaneously?
Writing to Pray 