journaling – Page 2 – Writing to Pray

Transfiguration 2019

Luke 9:28-36

Hebrew tradition holds that Elijah will appear before the coming of the Messiah and Scripture tells us he was one of only two people who did not die but was taken by God. On the other hand, Moses did die and was buried, as detailed in Deuteronomy, chapter 33. At the time of the Transfiguration, Jesus has not yet died, descended into ‘hell’ and brought those there up to Heaven with Him, therefore, Moses too would have been waiting for the Messiah. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 632-635). So, how does Moses journey from Sheol to the mountaintop; Jesus’ time to release these prisoners has not yet come.

When reading this gospel, we tend to regard Elijah as ‘The Prophet’ and Moses as ‘The Law-giver,’ each representing a vital aspect of Jewish tradition. I would certainly not argue against this, but Moses is also considered a prophet. If I consider his identity as such, I wonder, Why does Jesus appear with a prophet from the dead and a prophet who did not die?

According to Luke, in this mountain-top moment, Elijah, Moses and Jesus are discussing His exodus in Jerusalem. Moses’ presence implies the prisoners in Sheol will also experience an Exodus; Sheol is best understood not as hell or damnation, but rather, ‘an abode of the dead.’ Perhaps, metaphorically, we each have a Sheol within ourselves.

The Catechism also states, “Those who are there are deprived of the vision of God.” Moses’ presence on the mountain-top says to me, “The time of waiting is soon to be over, you will see Him ablaze with glory! His light will awaken whatever in you sleeps and breathe into you new life.”

Reflection Questions for Journaling

1. Recall three different experiences you had with regard to waiting and then obtaining that which you were ‘waiting for.’
2. After rereading these three experiences, explore the threads and repetitions between them.

1st Sunday Lent 2019

On the anniversary of Dad’s departure, the family texts bombarded the satellites: all day, everyone gushing about what a great guy he was. And it is wise to remember and cling to the good, happy moments. But I draw more solace, peace and joy from remembering his irritating, nudgey ways. When he was annoying and impossible … then, he was perfect.

But let me explain. Old English borrowed the word perfect from Old French who borrowed it from Latin; per meaning through and fect meaning to do. So, the old definition of the adjective perfect means, to do through, complete. Reflecting on this gospel scene, helps me wonder if the devil’s main strategy is to make us think we are not complete. He tempts us into thinking we have needs, and those needs must be filled for us to be who we are intended to be: without these needs met we are somehow less than.

The devil tries this strategy with Jesus in the desert. He first tells Jesus to turn the stones into bread. After all, Jesus has fasted for forty days, and just has to be hungry. The devil is suggesting that Jesus is lacking; He is not whole, His belly is empty. But Jesus says, “Hungry, shmungry, I’m full of what I need to be who I am.”

The devil tries again, “I can give you all the Kingdoms on earth.” The devil is implying, if Jesus is a king, if that is who he thinks he is, he’s got it wrong because he lacks a kingdom. The devil is playing with Jesus’ identity by dismissing spiritual and divine reality and elevating reality defined by human perception. But Jesus knows who is it; He doesn’t need earthly kingdoms to be the King that He is already.

Then the devil tries to goad and provoke Jesus into proving He is who He says He is, suggesting proof of identify is a need not yet met. But Jesus says, “I know who I am; you are not going to bully me into bullying my Father and the angels to prove it. I do not need others to believe I who I am to be who I Am.”

The Fortress Commentary refers to these early chapters and verses in Luke’s narrative as the ‘unfolding’ of Jesus’ identity, and points out that the devil advances Jesus’ identity by questioning it. The devil has three times tried to convince Jesus that not only does he has unmet needs, but that until those needs are met, He is not completely Himself. He is without integrity, without wholeness, lacking and less than. But Jesus knows who He is intended to be and is completely Him.

Can say the same thing about myself?

Reflection Questions for Journaling

- Am I completely who the Lord invites and intends me to be?
- Who does the Lord intend me to be? What percent of the time, am I she?
- What unmet needs do I think I have which prevent me from being who I am intended to be more consistently?
- In what ways have the devil’s attempts to convince me I need x, y, z to be who I’m intended to be, actually advance the integrity of my identity?
- And finally, I ask myself again, am I wholly who the Lord invites and intends me to be?

Ash Wednesday 2019

In Ash Wednesday’s gospel reading, Jesus offers instruction on prayer.

There are times when I pray because I’m in desperate need of some major help! I’m ill-equipped to handle the tasks before me, missing vital information, or am simply overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of thoughts and ideas, to-dos and demands.

Occasionally, however, the Lord throws me into a situation I perceive to be beyond human help; He asks me to do something akin to leveling mountains and straightening curvy pathways. “Lord,” I so often ask, “Why ever did You plunk me down into the middle of this mess? What are You thinking?”

Because Lent is a call to prayer, it is also a invitation to evaluate and understand these difficult circumstances. Only in solitude can I develop the interior disposition of single-minded and single-hearted attention to the Lord. This internal default is essential if I am to notice His Intervention in these impossible situations, and perhaps this witnessing of the Lord’s Presence is why He’s asked me to be there too.

The Holy Spirit is waiting to open my eyes, to feed me with insight and intuition, to dazzle me with the Light of His Presence, but if I am to truly see, I must first discover Him in the dark … I must go to my room.

Reflection Questions for Journaling:

1. 1. Do I need to develop or change the space in which I sit alone with the Lord every day? Have I set aside specific time and developed a prayer routine?
  2. What circumstances in my life do I pray for out of need for personal help?
  3. What situations do I pray for because I perceive it requires essential transformation at bedrock? (In other words, the situation needs help beyond a human fix.) Do I notice the Divine Intervention in Motion? How might I become a better witness?